This Bogus Poetry

It's one of the finest songs of its generation, but one that has been sadly ignored by music historians and scholars. Until now... Traveling in a fried-out combie On a hippie trail, head full of zombie I met a strange lady, she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast The opening to this strange tale. Our narrator it seems is backpacking around Europe in a camper van whilst listening to White Zombie. I would encourage any Australian backpackers not to hang out in red light districts, let alone have breakfast with European prostitutes, particularly if feeling uneasy and unsafe. It's certainly not a good way to spend a gap year and it won't impress on your CV when applying for jobs in the future. And she said, Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? Cant you hear, cant you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover. Clearly this makes no sense whatsoever. I can perhaps understand why European prostitutes think Australian...

5. New Order - World In Motion Remember when England were good at football? No I'm not talking about 2001 or even 1996 . It's time to go back to 1990. Gary Lineker banging in the goals. A svelte Gazza in his prime. Chris Waddle bounding down the wing, his mullet proudly trailing behind him. A beautiful sight for all Englishmen. In the video, witness Gillian Gilbert looking distinctly awkward, Keith Allen being a twat and Bernard Sumner driving across the pitch in a car, no doubt ruining the playing surface in the process. Perhaps this was the reason the team were unable to practice taking penalties? And of course, we have to mention the John Barnes rap at 2:30. For me, rather than Gazza's tears , this was the iconic image of the 1990 World Cup. Some say it was his best performance in an England shirt and I wouldn't disagree. The lyricism, the flow, the focus, the hip swivel - It's all there. In Stuart Maconie's excellent rock journalist biography Cider With Ro...

For no apparent reason whatsoever, I wanted to tell you about some of my all time favourite music videos. As a child of the MTV generation, music videos have always been really important to me. Some remind me of certain points in my life, others of certain people. Mostly they are just three and a half minute distractions. I'm not saying these are the best music videos ever, but for a variety of reasons, they are some of my favourites. 10. Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence Here's my theory. Dave Gahan is on his way back from a monarchy themed fancy dress party. It's late/early, the sun is just coming up. He takes a wrong turn just outside Basildon and finds a deckchair in a skip... I have no idea what was on Anton Corbijn's mind when he came up with the concept for this video, but I'm mighty glad he made it. --- 9. Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy Firstly, I genuinely and truly love this song. The crux of the video is that Jimmy Sommerville has a homoerotic encounter in a...

I'm hibernating. It feels like a bit of an in between time at the moment. Before something starts. Before the cogs begin to whir and and wheels begin to turn. Before an event of significance happens. Somehow, I find myself in Leeds, in the north of England. Living in a residential area filled with chavs, small aggressive dogs and hyperactive children called Kane and Kyle. I feel like I'm preparing, getting ready for something important. Or maybe it is just nice to tell myself that, to justify this downtime, this isolation from seemingly normal everyday existence. I have spent some time thinking about Buddhism and I want to know more. I have spent some time pondering Polyamory and I would like to investigate further. And I suspect that I spend more time than most ruminating on the best way to play two overcards, in a shorthanded Limit Texas Hold'em game, when you've been just been check-raised by an aggressive opponent on the flop. Poker player Andy Black spent five year...

My favourite albums released in 2008 are as follows: 1. Foals - Antidotes 2. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles 3. Portishead - Third 4. Glasvegas - Glasvegas 5. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dig!!! Lazarus!!! Dig!!! 6. Mogwai - The Hawk is Howling 7. dEUS - Vantage Point 8. Blood Red Shoes - Box of Secrets 9. REM - Accelerate 10. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular 11. The Faint - Fasciination 12. TV On The Radio - Dear Science 13. Fuck Buttons - Street Horrrsing 14. Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid 15. Lykke Li - Youth Novels 16. Hercules and the Love Affair - Hercules and the Love Affair 17. Mystery Jets - 21 18. Ladytron - Velocifero 19. Miss Kittin - Batbox 20. The Cure - 4:13 Dream 21. Ratatat - LP3 22. Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Enderlast 23. Neon Neon - Stainless Style 24. Spiritulized - Songs in A&E 25. Kings of Leon - Only By the Night Lest we forget: 2007 1. Calvin Harris - I Created Disco 2. Justice - Cross 3. Grinderman - Grinderman 2006 1. Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Show Yo...