This Bogus Poetry

I close my eyes. The aroma of cheap hair gel and cigar smoke fills my nostrils. I feel my face being scrutinised. I hear the familiar click clack of poker chips, the drag of a cigarette and then the exhale. Did he just breathe his cigarette smoke on me on purpose? I pull the brim of my hat to cover my eyes further, try to remain still and control my breathing. My opponent is clearly frustrated and I know he is probably going to fold. I want him to fold. I try not to do anything, even to move. I don’t want to give him any ideas about making a hero call . Eventually, after a painfully long time, he folds. *** I had heard the poker games in Vienna were good, so had travelled to the Austrian capital to investigate. A nine hour train ride with Swedish backpackers later and I was in the suburbs of the Austrian capital. The Montesino Card Club is located in a very odd leisure complex, the centre piece of which is four large gas cylinders which have been decommissioned and converted for modern...

Recently I saw PJ Harvey play in Lisbon, Portugal. It was a most excellent show. Having been unable to secure tickets for London (sold out) and Berlin (German bureaucracy), I had resigned myself to not seeing PJ Harvey on this tour. When a show in Portugal was announced, I logged on and checked the seating plan. It was mostly sold, but there was one seat free on its own, centre 4th row. Well it would have been churlish not to buy it. The venue was great. On the university complex, the theatre was a beautiful Art Deco building constructed during the era of right wing control of the country, as it seemed did most of the buildings in the university. Firstly I must comment on the high quality selection of pastries behind the bar inside (you wouldn't get that at the Academy), next on the reasonably priced beer, drank in very small glasses as elsewhere in Lisbon. My seat was more of an armchair, with a great view of the stage. The venue even had wifi, so I sent some email whilst waiting ...

Swedish poker players are the amongst the most fearsome opponents in the world. It seems that in the realm of apartment hunting, they are also not to be messed with. My search for an apartment has taken me all over the city of Berlin. From the working class district of Wedding, where I wanted to rent a studio where the shower was in the kitchen, but was passed over in favour of a Brazilian lesbian couple. To the quiet streets of Kreuzkoelln, where I was very much into an apartment next door to a sex shop, belonging to an Irish roller derby girl - but sadly she chose to rent it to her friend. One recent sojourn took me to the south side of Neukoelln - Berlin's Turkish district. The renter this time was an abrasive Irishman called Niall, who was going travelling and then moving to a different area of Berlin. The bonus for me with this one, was that he said he would make an introduction to his landlord, so that when his lease ends in June it can be taken over. I was into that id...

I spent three days couchsurfing in Yokohama with Hanna and Atsushi. They proved to be most excellent hosts. The first night we sat on the floor around a table Japanese style and ate a homecooked meal prepared on a portable stove. But not just any table! Japan seems to be a nation that doesn't understand the term 'central heating' but they compensate for this in several ways. One of the most interesting being a heated table. A small circular table covered by a blanket. Underneath an oasis of warmness! So wrap the blanket around your legs and let the warmth wash over you (Well your legs at least) The meal was delicious. Sukiyaki - Beef, vegetables and noodles cooked on the stove and then dipped into raw egg. Yum. I stayed in Hanna and Atsushi's guest room complete with tatami mat, futon and Japanese style slide doors. The apartment was pretty huge by Japanese standards and I felt very comfortable and at home. They were great hosts! We watched some Japanese TV and I was ex...

It started normally enough. I met a guy called Ben through Couchsurfing and we got talking about a venue I'd been to called Superdeluxe . "I'm DJing there in a few weeks. There's some kind of Dutch electronica, it should be interesting..." The seed was planted and then this morning I remembered it was on. I emailed him and he put me on the door for half price entry. What a nice guy. I'd been Superdeluxe before, to see a man play a 30 minute improvised organ solo, so I knew this wasn't generally a mainstream venue. Little did I know the delights that were to come though. Upon arrival it became clear that this was some sort of Dutch cultural showcase, there were people there from the embassy and it appeared that a lot of the acts had been funded in some way by the Dutch government. First was a rather dry presentation about some kind of interactive 3D virtual art. So far so good and no hint of the oddity that was to follow. Ben was DJing in between the acts a...

I've been a long term critic of supermarkets in Berlin , so it is time to redress the balance. Supermarkets in Japan are awesome! Mainly I've shopped in 'combini' stores. These are small corner convenience stores that are open either really late or 24 hours a day. In the UK or the US this would probably mean they were stocked with booze, pringles and cigarettes, but here there is a wide variety of food on offer, some of it even fresh and healthy. My favourite is Lawson, but there are 4 or 5 different chains literally all over Tokyo. For the traveller it is pretty great. Tokyo blogger Kevin Cooney gives his opinion on 'combinis' below. TokyoCooney is my favourite source of information about Tokyo. He has made tonnes of videos about all aspects of life in the city. Recommended! In Yokohama I grabbed lunch from as small supermarket and I was pleased with my haul. Hot weak lemon drink £1 Baked sweet potato cooked on hot coals inside the supermarket £1.20 Tasty sushi...

I have been meeting people from Couchsurfing most days here in Tokyo and it has been a real lifesaver. From my experiences so far, Japan is a very difficult society for a foreigner to penetrate. I am constantly aware of my outsider or 'gaijin' status as I tower over everybody on the street and am faced with the language and cultural barriers. Saturday sounded promising. Someone posted on the messageboard that she was going for a night out and did anyone want to come? Of course I did and she told me to meet her at 8 at the Hachiko statue. It is worth mentioning Hachiko for a moment, as it is not every day that a dog gets a statue in a prime location in the middle of a major city. Hachiko used to meet his owner every day after work at the station. When his owner died at work suddenly one day, Hachiko continued to wait at the station each day for him to return. This lasted for nine years! Very impressive and ranks him up there with Bobbie The Wonderdog of Silverton, OR as one of...

Most tourists go to Asakusa, but it is actually the area of Yanaka that has the highest concentration of temples in Tokyo. Perhaps it is the fact that they aren't quite as beautiful as the ones in Asakusa, perhaps it is because the area is largely unremarkable and is wedged in between the railway tracks. But during my visit I saw very few other tourists. Previously I'd picked up a walking tour guide from the central tourist office and planned to follow it. But first, it was time to go to the graveyard. The cemetery in Yanaka is pretty damn huge. Next to it is a temple which I had a look around before going to hang out with some dead people. Some of the gravestones were pretty massive, standing at around twenty feet high. A tad excessive I'd say! In the spring this is a prime cherry blossom viewing spot, but now it was a bit barren and chilly. That didn't stop three old guys just hanging out, one of them playing some kind of flute. On to the temples and shrines and it wa...

In Tokyo it is statistically more likely you are going to run into a giant pink cat pulling a suitcase, than in any other city in the world. FACT!

As my sleep schedule has adjusted I've been going out more in the evening. Four nights in a row I went out to different parts of Tokyo to meet people from Couchsurfing. On Wednesday I meet Yuki in Korea Town and she gives me a tour of the neighbourhood. There is tonnes of merchandise for the latest Korean pop artists that seem to be pretty big over here, as well as the smells from Korean food. I soon discover Yuki has similar taste in music as me, as well as being a big football fan. She is going over the the UK in March to catch a Premiership match and of all places, she has chosen to spend a few nights staying in West Bromwich. Now I think it is safe to say that West Brom puts Tokyo to shame when it comes to a plate of faggots and peas, but I'm struggling of thinking what else? I'm certainly experiencing cultural differences here in Japan, but I'd love to hear how Yuki gets on with the Black Country accent. We take a lift to the top of the Tokyo Government Building w...

One of the things I really wanted to do when in Japan was to watch some sumo wrestling. There are six big basho (tournaments) each year, three of them in Tokyo. Fortunately one of them is on right now and I got the chance to go and see it. Seats at the front are in high demand, but they keep a small amount of back row tickets to sell on each day of the two week event. Early in the morning I took the trip out to the sumo suburb of Ryogoku and got in line. There actually a lot of foreigners in the queue, probably the most I've seen in one place so far and I chatted to some other Brits whilst we waited for the line to move. Ryogoku is known as sumo town and lots of 'sumo stables' are in the area where the wrestlers live and train. On the way from the subway I walk past a couple of wrestlers on the way to the arena, wearing traditional dress and wooden sandals. On a large tower outside the arena, a guy sits at the top banging a traditional drum signalling the beginning of the s...

There is one kind of Japanese food that as far as I'm aware, has not really made it over to Europe. Okonomiyaki is probably best described as a cabbage pancake, or perhaps pizza. It is a very odd thing indeed. Okonomi means favourites, so I guess you are meant to put all of your favourite things in the mix. I went to an Okonmiyaki cafe in the Shibuya district. It was a small place with perhaps eight tables. Each table is fitted with a hot plate, a bit like at a Korean or Mongolian BBQ place. The radio pumped out 80s hits and Yuki (my culinary tourguide) and I, got on with the task in hand. First you start off with your bowl of ingredients. Cabbage, an egg and batter type stuff that you have in tempura. It is customary to have a meat, so I went for pork. You mix up the ingredients in your bowl and then put them on the hotplate using your mini chisel, creating a patty type structure. With one side cooked, it is time for the flip, as if you were making an omlette. There is a certain s...

Monday morning I wake up at 5:45am to play poker. Sunday is the big day for online poker tournaments and here, 14 hours ahead of the American east coast, that means Monday morning. I grind poker on my netbook whilst drinking a hot can of coffee, today choosing the 'Super Relax Blend' (some may be pleased to know that my obsession with canned coffee is now past its peak) and eating a tasty instant noodle snack. Poker doesn't go very well today and I finish disappointingly early. It usually happens that way. After freshening up, I head out to Asakusa, the area I got lost on the way to a few days earlier. This time I take a direct train. This area contains several preserved shrines and temples and is firmly on the tourist trail. The temples are beautiful and I wander around and hang out. It is much warmer today and more pleasant to be outside. There are several rituals going on which I observe. Firstly people can purify themselves with ladles of water. Then there is a small fi...

"I just couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush Not to put too fine a point on it, Japan is very different to the West. It's the things you can't quite put your finger on, the subtleties, as well as the obvious things of course. And when all the minor subtleties add up together, well that's quite major and very obviously something new, intriguing and confusing. Often confusing. First stop of the day is Setagaya Boro-Ichi flea market. It is a 430 year old festival that only happens twice a year and the write up on the Time Out website promises me all kinds of traditional antiques and a feudal procession. Well if there's one thing worth trekking halfway across Tokyo for it is a feudal procession and I make if over there via three trains and a light rail. At the station I meet Leona from Couchsurfing. She's a Californian who is living in Tokyo, teaching English to Japanese businessmen. She's been here several mon...

Up early again I head out a little after 7am, this time to Ueno Park. It is in the north east of Tokyo, three stops on the metro from here I'm staying. On the way I grab a bento box for breakfast and eat at the station whilst I wait a few minutes for my train. I've read in a couple of places that it is the height of rudeness to eat and walk at the same time in Japan, though I have seen a couple of people doing it. There are also signs around that I've seen telling people not to smoke and walk. The park is beautiful, a big expanse of green in the heart of the city. Even at this hour of the morning there are two guys with clipboards sitting at each entrance, presumably counting the people who come into the park. The park has some activity, with a mix of joggers, dog walkers, old men strolling and a few tourists. Ueno Park contains several noted museums and a zoo, but I entered at the south end where there are a handful of temples and traditional Japanese buildings. The first ...